Kiss Me, I'm Irish
by The Daring Girl in Black
Summary: Draco loves Harry. Harry loves Draco. But they won't admit it; so they need a certain adorable Irish boy to bring them together once and for all... DM/HP, DT/SF, one-shot. Complete.


**A/N:** Okay, so I was _supposed _to post this yesterday, on St. Patrick's Day, but since I'm an idiot and I procrastinate too much, I didn't finish it until now. I didn't even edit it because I just want to be _done_ with this. It consists of about 15, 700 words, and I know it's kind of terribly, but I like it. It's funny. I think.

My next story will probably be posted early April. It's going to be a Draco/Harry _and_ Scorpius/Albus, since I can't help but love them; after being a Drarry fan, you automatically ship Albius. It's almost scary.

Thank you in advance for reading, I hope you enjoy!

* * *

"Oi, Harry, have you seen my trousers?"

Harry Potter blinks and looks up from his Transfiguration spell book. Seamus Finnigan is standing there in a pair of yellow floral boxers, patiently awaiting his friend's reply.

"How'd you lose your trousers?" Harry asks incredulously as Seamus starts to dig around the Gryffindor common room. A group of first year girls squeal when they see Seamus and run up the stairs. Harry rolls his eyes at them; not that Seamus isn't good-looking, for a bloke, but he's not _squeal_ worthy.

Seamus gives Harry a look. "If I knew that, then I would probably know where they are." Seamus, truthfully, does know how he lost them. Damn him for ever letting a Slytherin do his laundry... "But, if I can't find them, can I borrow a borrow a pair from you?" It's just then that Seamus realizes Harry is sitting next to a very startled looking Hermione. "Oh. 'Ello, 'Mione."

Hermione turns away blushing, snapping her book shut. "I'm going to bed!" she says in an unusually high-pitched voice, scurrying away quickly.

"But it's only three in the afternoon!" Seamus protests as she makes her way up the stairs. "And it's a _Saturday_! A Hogsmeade weekend!"

Harry looks at the stairs where Hermione used to be. "You should really wear trousers into the common room," Harry informs Seamus, looking up at the partially-naked Irish boy before shutting his book and standing up.

Seamus frowns. "Because I have no other pairs. Why, can they see me through this?" He doesn't seem too worried about this as he turns to the side so that Harry can... uh, have a better view.

Harry grins. "You mean the inchworm?"

"Ouch!" Seamus exclaims, clutching his heart. "Merlin, Harry, that's like the Crucio curse!" He turns and begins digging through a drawer, apparently still looking for his trousers.

"How'd you lose _all _of your trousers?" Harry raises an eyebrow suspiciously. "Perhaps it's a good thing that you and Dean are in separate dorms?"

Seamus looks over at Harry, not surprised. Harry's almost expecting him to be surprised; he would be surprised if Seamus discovered a secret relationship between him and Ron.

Harry almost hurls at the thought. Brunettes? They're okay. Blondes? Well, they're _very _okay, but _gingers_? Just... no.

"How'd you find out? Dean's big mouth? Or other big things he possesses?" Seamus wonders aloud, but shakes his head. "Never mind that, though. I have a date with him in Hogsmeade so I need a nice pair of trousers. Not that they're going to stay on me long, anyways. Who can resist _this_?" Seamus motions to his body, striking what some would call a 'sexy pose.'

Harry shakes his head. "You can borrow a pair, Seamus, just make sure to burn them after you're done."

"You think I'm that dirty?" Seamus gives a flirty wink at Harry before running up the stairs in his boxers, apparently to his and Harry's dorm.

When he gets there, he taps his chin thoughtfully behind a closed door. "So he doesn't seem to be interested in me or any other blokes who are deadly handsome," Seamus mutters to himself, sitting on his bed and narrowing his eyes in intense though. "So there's only _one _explanation."

"And what would that be?"

Seamus nearly screams, he's so surprised. He jumps up, lamely attempting to cover his trouser-less lower-half. He actually probably wouldn't've, but he needs time to prepare the confidence in order to walk in front of grabby girls in just pants. "Ginny! What were you doing under Harry's bed?!"

The younger girl looks innocently at Seamus from her kneeling position on the floor. "That's none of your concern, or anybody else's. And, if you tell anybody, I'll tell Ronniekins." She grins. "Ronnie, Seamus and I were in your dorm today, he said he had something to give me. And, before I knew it, I was kneeling in front of him and he had his trousers off!"

"Okay, enough!" Seamus cries, honestly scared of what Ron would do if he found out. Don't blame him for being scared of a ginger; after all, Ron is a six foot tall ginger who helped Harry defeat Lord Voldemort. Seamus has no doubts that he would kill him. "I won't tell anybody!"

"Good." Ginny stands up. "Now, are you going to tell me why you only have pants on?"

"I lost mine, so I need to borrow some of Harry's," Seamus informs her, beginning to walk towards the end of Harry's bed, where his trunk lies.

"No need, Seamus." From behind her back, she whips out a pair of Harry's trousers. "Those locks on his trunk are pretty tight, and it took me forever just _trying_ to get it open. Thus, I looked under his bed, and _presto_!" She shoves the trousers at him. "You have trousers."

Seamus doesn't even ask why she had Harry's trousers; he just starts putting them on. "Why are you snooping in here, anyways?" he asks as he tugs his legs through the trousers.

"You can't tell anybody," she says, "but I'm the leader of a Harry Potter fan club. I need to bring things to them every once in a while to keep them satisfied, you know? Colin Creevy really likes Harry's trousers, so I decided to get a pair for him."

"That's wonderful!" Seamus cries. "Harry has a fan club? That's awesome. Do you guys spy on him or anything? Whose all in it?"

"We don't spy on him," Ginny scoffs, turning a light shade of pink. "We simply _observe_ him. Well, we have seven members; Luna Lovegood, Colin Creevy, Padma and Parvarti Pavil, Lavender Brown, Cho Chang, and _me_. The leader." She grins proudly. "Would you like to join, Seamus?"

"Well, I actually have a mission that you guys could help me with," Seamus tells her, nodding. "I'm not that obsessed with Harry, but I am obsessed with his love life. Are you in love with him or anything? Would you be willing to help set him up with somebody else?"

"Everybody in the club loves him, but not all of us are _in _love with him," Ginny explains, smoothing out her skirt as she sits on Harry's bed. "I love him dearly, but I'm kind of into Dean again." She smiles while Seamus glares at nothing in particular. "Anyways. His happiness is our happiness; who is it that we would be setting him up with?"

Seamus smirks at Ginny. "Well, the person he's in love with, of course; Draco Malfoy."

Ginny blinks at him. "What?" she spits. "They're archrivals! Wait, scratch that; they haven't even _looked _at each other since the Battle of Hogwarts! They could care less about one another!"

"But isn't it odd how Harry vouched for him during Death Eater trials?" Seamus points out. "And they do look at each other. A lot. It doesn't even look like they are, either, and neither of them notices each other. It's just that, the thing is, they're in love with each other. I've just noticed in the past couple months, but..."

"Harry's not _gay_!" Ginny protests, and Seamus shakes his head.

"You're right, he's not. He's... Dracosexual."

Ginny glares at him. "He doesn't love Malfoy. He's a complete jerk, and they've never had a civil conversation in their life!" Ginny throws her hands up for dramatic effect. "Don't be ridiculous, Seamus."

"I have to do some research on Draco," Seamus comments, ignoring Ginny. "I'm pretty sure that he's either gay or bisexual, though, because I saw him and Blaise Zabini sneaking out of the Room of Requirements looking rather flustered in sixth year."

"That could be because they're both Death Eaters and the Vanishing Cabinet was in there," Ginny points out, crossing her arms, seemingly pleased with herself.

"Yeah, but it was only Draco working on that; Harry even said so." The only reason Seamus and Ginny know about this is because of sitting around the fire with Harry, talking about the War and multiple conspiracies with other Gryffindors. "Blaise didn't get his Dark Mark until his seventh year. And I doubt they would have to take off their pants for that, because I distinctly remember Blaise redoing his belt."

Realization finally comes over her face, and then it falls. "Oh. So... they honestly like each other?" she says in a monotone. "That really sucks."

"Especially for Harry and Draco," Seamus informs her. "So, thus, we have to get them together so they can be happy. Will your fan club be willing to help?" He pauses. "Will _you _be, Ginny?"

She takes a breath. "I guess. It is for Harry's happiness, after all."

Seamus grins. "Wonderful. Now, I have a meeting to attend. Speaking of meetings, though, when is your next one? For the Harry Potter fan club?"

"Tomorrow after lunch," she tells him. "The password is 'Lightning Bolt.' We're in `the Room of Requirement."

"Obviously," Seamus snorts as he walks out of the dorm. "See you tomorrow, Ginny!" With that, he's down the stairs and walking through the common room ("Thanks for the trousers, Harry!") off to his date with Dean.

Dean is probably waiting for him in Hogsmeade already. He's used to Seamus being late, so he usually doesn't show up until half-an-hour after they planned to meet. Seamus thinks he's so sweet for looking past his _only _flaw. And anybody who says otherwise is stupid.

When he meets his boyfriend in Hogsmeade, they can't hold hands or anything, not in public. They have to save that for their 'private-time', something Seamus always looks forward to.

"'Ello, Dean," Seamus greets when he sees the chocolate-skinned boy standing in front of Honeydukes. He would say, _Let me drag you into that alley and shag you silly_, but there are people around. He actually considers saying it for a moment, but instead says, "What do we have planned for today, mate?"

"Maybe a Butterbeer, and then we can check out the Shrieking Shack," he suggests, a faint smile playing on his lips. Seamus and Dean have single-handedly brought the _shrieking_ back to the Shrieking Shack.

"Sounds delightful!" Seamus cries, beginning to walk towards the Three Broomsticks happily. Even if him and Dean can't be an outed couple (yet), they can still be outed best friends. Which is an excuse for them to be with each other all the time.

Anyways, it's enough just to have their legs touching each other's under their booth.

Once they get into the Three Broomsticks, though, something catches Seamus' eye: Draco Malfoy. "Oh, great!" he whispers to himself excitedly, grinning at the blonde, who has a constant bored expression on his face, sitting across from a chattering Pansy Parkinson. This way, Seamus can be on his date with Dean _and _spy on Draco!

"Why don't we sit over here?" Dean suggests, motioning to their usual booth - a booth that usually hides them from most prying eyes so they can get at least a _little _romantic on their dates.

Seamus examines it for a moment. "No," he says finally, determining he won't be able to see Draco if he sits there. "Why don't we sit at this table?" He touches a table that's in the middle of the room, where Draco wouldn't see Seamus spying on him.

Dean frowns. "Why there?"

"Reasons I'll explain to you at the Shrieking Shack," Seamus tells him, sitting down. "Right now, let's just order some Butterbeers and talk, shall we?" Seamus gives Dean a brilliant smile, and, of course, Dean complies, sitting down across from him.

Madame Rosmerta almost instantly sees them. "Oh! Hello, boys!" she greets. "I haven't seen you two in here in a while." Seamus used to be jealous of the way that Dean looked at Madame Rosmerta. But, now he knows that Dean is _his _man, and any bitch who stands between them will _die_.

"We've been doing quite a bit of work lately, Madame," Dean replies. "We're finally giving ourselves a break - well, at least _I've _been doing _my _work." He shoots a look in Seamus' direction.

"Hey," Seamus says defensively, "I work as hard as any other student in Hogwarts!"

Rosmerta laughs. "I'm sure you do, hon. What can I get you two boys?"

"Two Butterbeers, please," Dean replies, holding up two fingers to emphasize his point. She nods and then walks off. Seamus is happy to see that Dean is one of the only students who doesn't look at her butt as she does.

But neither does Draco Malfoy.

"I should get a notebook," Seamus muses. "Or a notepad. Then I could write down clues. Oi, Dean, remember that one cartoon we watched that one time? About that talking dog who solved mysteries?"

"Scooby-Doo?"

Seamus snaps his fingers. "That's it! I could be like him!"

Dean gives him a funny look before shaking his head with a bemused chuckle. "Seamus, you can't be like a dog," he tells him. "I wouldn't want you to be, anyways. I like you the way you are."

"But I could be a Animagus," Seamus replies defensively, not even realizing the 'aww' moment that he just missed. "Then I could be like Plooby-Koo."

Dean rolls his eyes. "It's Scooby-Doo, Seamus, not Plooby-Koo." They go silent when Rosmerta gives them their drinks. Nobody in this place probably knows what they're talking about, except for some Muggleborns or others who were highly involved in the Muggle world.

Seamus looks over at Draco again while Dean and Rosmerta small talk. He still looks bored, but has a small glass of firewhiskey in his hand. He doesn't even fake an occasional smile for Pansy's sake; he just looks at her and nods occasionally. From what Seamus can tell, though, Pansy's talking about shoes.

_How can that be _boring_? _Seamus complains in his head, wishing that Dean would be willing to talk about shoes with him. But Dean said, and Seamus quotes, "Just because I'm gay does not mean I'm going to be all feminine. I'm going to hold onto as much masculinity as I can." And, of course, Seamus laughed for three hours at the innuendo; he couldn't help it.

"Seamus, _why_ are you staring at Malfoy?"

Seamus looks at Dean and blinks. "I'm observing him," he answers casually before looking at him again. "What's he doing with Pansy again? Haven't they broken up?"

Dean glares at him. "Do you have a thing for Malfoy?" he demands, crossing his arms jealously.

"Well, he _is _good-looking," Seamus muses, just for the sake of making Dean mad. He laughs at Dean's seething face. "No, I don't. Like I said, I'll explain all of this to you at the Shrieking Shack. But I'm trying to multi-task, but being here, with you, and spying on _him_."

Dean still looks jealous. "Fine, fine. And, as for you question, they break up every so often and then get back together. On, off, on, off, on, off... It's quite hard to know whether or not their dating."

"I'm always on," Seamus flirts, giving an overly-exaggerated wink to Dean. He takes a drink of his Butterbeer. "Aw, it's starting to get cold. I must hurry."

"But you know how you get when you chug your Butterbeer," Dean protests, but this does more bad than it does good.

"Seamus is going to chug his Butterbeer?" Dennis Creevy asks. "Hey, everybody, Seamus is going to chug his Butterbeer!"

Everybody instantly begins to chant, "_Chug, chug, chug, chug_!"

Seamus grins at Dean. "The crowd wants what the crowd wants, Dean. There's no denying them." And, with that, it begins.

Seamus chugs his and Dean's and Dennis' full Butterbeers with only one breath between each glass. By then, he was feeling all bubbly and a kind of drunk that only Butterbeer can give you.

All during this, Seamus watches Draco. He's seen him stare at Harry quite often, but his expression only shows one thing: want. It may be because he's jealous and wants what Harry has, or wants what Harry has in a _different _aspect. Seamus giggles at the thought.

When Draco notices him staring, Seamus just grins and holds up his hand in an effortless wave. Draco looks curious, but just turns away, deciding not to even bother with the flamboyant Gryffindor. It's not worth his time, anyway.

"I guess this means we're not going to the Shrieking Shack," Dean sighs as he drags Seamus out of the Three Broomsticks. He still feels bubbly, and, even though Butterbeer is still non-alcoholic, it has its own ways of making you feel drunk, even when you're fully aware.

"What? Now is the _perfect _time to go to the Shrieking Shack!" Seamus cries before loosening Dean's grip on his arm and taking off in the general direction of the Shrieking Shack. He knows he's annoying his boyfriend, but he really wants to tell Dean about his plan - and some make-out time would be _wonderful_.

"Seamus," Dean pants when they're finally outside of the gate to the Shrieking Shack.

Seamus smirks at him. "C'mon, let's go!" He runs up the path. Dean looks around to see if anybody is watching them before following Seamus into the old, worn-down shack.

Once Dean has the door shut safely behind them, Seamus lungs for him, knocking them down onto the floor, and kisses him, hard, on the lips. "I like my men the same way I like my toast," Seamus tells him when he pulls away with a smirk on his lips. "_Black_."

"That is so rac-" Dean doesn't get to finish his comment when Seamus kisses him again. They end up a mess of tangled, sweaty limbs before Seamus finally gets up off of his boyfriend.

Dean looks rather dazed, and Seamus smirks proudly at that. "So, do you want to know why I was staring at Draco earlier?"

"Why are you calling him Draco?" Dean asks suspiciously. "Do you have a thing for him or something, like I asked earlier? What is it with you watching him?"

"You're cute when you're jealous," Seamus comments adoringly, scooching over to cuddle with him. "But, no. Draco's not my type. And I'm calling him Draco because Malfoy seems so... impersonal. And, if him and Harry are going to get together, I'm going to have to get to know him."

Dean blinks. "What do you mean by that?"

Seamus goes on to explain the same plan that he explained to Ginny earlier this morning. Harry loves Draco, blah blah blah, he needs to examine Draco to determine more, blah blah blah...

"Oh." Dean's quiet for a moment. "And how, may I ask, did you figure all of this out?"

"I'm gay, Dean. I know a gay boy when I see one," Seamus snorts, kind of offended by the fact that Dean would think he's so _thick _as to not notice something so _obvious_. "... And I also saw Draco and Harry's initials on Harry's parchment the other day, so..."

Dean chuckles. "I love you, you know."

"I love you too, Dean," Seamus replies lovingly, wrapping his arms around Dean's waist tightly. He sighs, able to see his breath in the cold air. "Do you want to go back to the castle now? I'm going to freeze my arse off if I'm out here any longer."

* * *

"Welcome to the Harry Potter fan-club's one-hundred and twenty-fourth official meeting!" Ginny says to all the people in the room. Everybody she said is in the club is here; Luna Lovegood, Colin Creevy, Padma and Parvarti Pavil, Lavender Brown, and Cho Chang.

Seamus looks around one more time. All of the girls, and boy, look excited. The only one who looks the least bit tame is Luna Lovegood; she has the usual, dreamy smile painted onto her lips, and she looks around, almost in a confused way, every so often.

"And, today, we have a special guest!" Ginny announces, clutching onto her clipboard, grinning. "Mr. Seamus Finnigan, please stand up."

Seamus, truthfully, is awed by how organized this place is as he stands up; there are snacks, drinks, and assigned seats. This must take a lot out of Ginny's day. Although, the posters of Harry do creep him out a little...

"I've one mission, and one mission only," Seamus says in a very dramatic voice as he walks over and stands next to Ginny. With his back to the crowd, he says, "I am a finder of love..." He whips around, and cries out, "And today, I'm finding it for Harry!"

The girls squeal and Colin claps giddily. Seamus wasn't expecting such a good reaction, so he grins from ear to ear. "I know who Harry is in love with, and I think that person loves him back, but I need all of your help to get them together. Whose with me?'

"Me!" a lot of people squeal; including Colin.

"Ooh, this is going to be lovely," Luna comments, smiling brightly. "Maybe I can convince the Nargles to help."

"But Seamus," Cho protests, "we all _love _Harry and want to be with him, so why should we help you?"

"Because if he's with the one he's in love with, he'll realize he's not that great and get over him. Then he's available to fall in love with... well, whoever."

Cho doesn't argue.

"This sounds great!" squeals Lavender. "I can't wait! Harry hasn't been with anybody since Ginny, has he? And they were only together for a week!"

"Hey!" Ginny says defensively. "It was more than a week. It was a week and five days!"

Padma and Parvarti whisper excitedly to each other. The only reason Seamus knows which is which is because he knows Padma is in Ravenclaw and Parvarti is in Gryffindor. Otherwise, he'd be at a complete loss.

"Who is he in love with?" Colin inquires anxiously. "Come on, Seamus, tell us!"

Seamus crosses his arms and smirks widely. He's not sure how they're going to take this, but he does know it will be priceless either way. "Draco Malfoy."

The world stands still.

"You owe me ten galleons, Parvarti!" Lavender says, high-fiving Padma. "We totally knew it!"

Seamus can't help but be impressed that they predicted Harry's falling in love with Draco.

Cho's eyes are wide. "But this means he'll never go back to girls!" she whines, and Seamus thinks, for a moment, that she's going to cry. But, he realizes it's the opposite when she stands up and throws her chair across the room.

"Strong girl," Seamus comments, blinking. "I'm suddenly scared of you..."

Luna taps her chin. "The Wackspurts tried to warn me, but I wouldn't listen... I guess I should never underestimate them again."

"Oh, Merlin, does this mean he likes men, then?!" Colin squeals, clapping his hands. "Yes! This means that I can swoop in and be his knight in shining armor!"

"Actually, he only likes Draco," Seamus tries to explain, but Colin keeps swooning. Seamus can't help but feel awkward in this situation; Cho is breaking things, Parvarti, Padma, and Lavender are arguing, Colin is swooning, and Luna is being... well, Luna.

Ginny is still standing next to Seamus, looking completely calm. "They're an emotional bunch," she explains, "but we all have one thing in common. We love Harry Potter; that's what keeps this club together." Suddenly, Ginny pulls out a whistle, and gives it one sharp blow.

Everybody, excluding the rampaging Cho, shuts up and sits down. Parvarti is just handing Lavender her ten galleons, and Colin is writing in what says on the front "Colin's Fantasy Notebook."

"Witches, witches," Ginny says soothingly.

"And wizards!" Colin adds.

"I know we're all rather surprised by the news, but we want to guarantee Harry's happiness. We formed this club out of admiration for Harry, but now that we have the chance to actually _help _the one who saved all of us, we're going to pass it up? No! We will help Harry get his man! We _will_ helphim be happy!"

Seamus can't help but be the _tiniest_ bit creeped out by all of this. He never knew people could be so obsessed with people _other _than One Direction...

"Yeah!" Lavender calls out. "We will!"

Colin doesn't set down his book, instead drooling as he scribbles inside. Seamus leans down and looks inside of the book, catching glimpses of the words "naked chest" and "pants-less" and "panting heavily."

"This was a very good idea," Seamus comments to himself, grinning. "Alright, team. Who wants to hear the first part of my plan?"

* * *

_Reports:_

_**Lavender's:**_

_Job: Draco-watching_

_Report: Draco has been seen entering rooms and then leaving them looking disheveled. Blaise Zabini usually exits shortly after Draco, but this is not always the case. Also, it has been noticed that he stares at Harry a lot more when you watch him carefully. Draco is currently dating Pansy Parkinson, although he shows absolutely no interest in her, and their "dates" mostly consist of her talking and him staring elsewhere. No touching/kissing/any contact whatsoever recorded._

_**Luna's:**_

_Job: Getting Harry to confide._

_Report: Harry doesn't listen when I talk to him. He stares everywhere else and only nods sometimes. I'm not getting anywhere, truthfully. The Nargles have stolen my shoes again._

_**Padma and Parvarti's:**_

_Job: Rumor mill_

_Report: They're rumors going around that Draco is gay. Obviously not a lot of people believe this, otherwise he'd be shunned by his fellow Slytherins already. There's also a rumor that Harry declined an early admission into the Auror program._

_**Cho's:**_

_Job: Paperwork_

_Report: I made sure that Harry's grades weren't too horrible when I hacked Headmistress McGonagall's office to see the teachers notes on him. Apparently, they're all saying that he's "withdrawn." I've also saved him from several detentions with Filch in the past week. As for Draco, he gets perfect grades and is never in trouble with the teachers. They say he's a marvelous, albeit obviously conceited, student._

_**Ginny's:**_

_Job: Harry-watching._

_Report: Harry studies a lot. He spends a lot of time in the common room and the library, and hardly ever goes to Hogsmeade unless his friends ask him to go. His grades, according to him, are excellent and he's doing fine. He's caught staring at Draco a lot more often than I would like to admit, though._

_**Colin's:**_

_Job: Snacks_

_Report: I'm bringing cupcakes on Tuesday!_

* * *

"Hey, Harry, mate, how are you doing?" Seamus throws his arm around Harry's shoulders and grins. It's been exactly a week since the first Harry Potter fan club meeting, and they've spent that week observing; Ginny made sure that the reports were on his bedside when he woke up this morning.

You see, today is an especially special day; it's the first day of Seamus' plan. Sequence one starts now.

Harry looks over at him. "Good morning to you, too, Seamus," he replies, shaking him off. "I'd love to eat my breakfast without you hanging on me, if you don't mind."

"Why are you in such a crabby mood?" Seamus asks the raven-haired boy, leaning into him and examining his face. He looks tired and cranky, with rather unattractive bags under his eyes and his hair messy(er than usually). "Stay up too late shagging Malfoy?"

Harry blinks a couple of times and then looks over at Seamus. "What?"

"Nothing," he singsongs, going back to his meal. "Anywho, where're Ron and Hermione? Aren't they always with you or something?"

"No. They went out for a picnic or something." He waves it off.

Seamus frowns. "But it's winter..."

Harry rolls his eyes, playing with his scrambled eggs. "That's just an excuse they gave me; well, Ron gave me it, anyways. Don't be naive, Seamus, I know you're not. You're just trying to make _me _say it."

"Yeah. Especially since I heard a few gasps in the dorm coming from Ron's closed-curtain bed when I tried to get something. But, I quickly gave up before I vomited." Seamus sighs. "It's weird to think of people you know shagging."

Harry looks sick. "Okay, let's stop talking about this. It's rather disgusting." He wrinkles his nose and shakes his head.

When Seamus sees that Draco isn't at the Slytherin table, he smirks and looks at Harry. "Hey, Harry, we should go play some Quidditch. Just a friendly game, you know?"

Harry looks surprised at Seamus' offer. Seamus knows that Harry always used to complain that, every Saturday morning, Draco would go and play Quidditch. So, obviously, Draco is still doing that, and Seamus can get them together this way. They would have to share the Quidditch pitch!

Of course, this _could _go horribly wrong, but...

"Sure," Harry answers, sounding unsure. "When?"

"Anytime you like," Seamus replies, standing up. "How does now sound? Since you're obviously not going to eat that obviously poisoned food - you must've known, right, and that's why you're killing it?"

"Ha-ha," he says sarcastically, rolling his eyes. "You're so funny, Seamus, you're killing me."

"That's what I was trying to do with the poison, but you figured it out," Seamus complains as they head toward the entrance to the Great Hall.

"By the way, Seamus, where's Dean?"

Seamus shrugs. "I don't have to know his whereabouts twenty-four-seven. He's not my slave..." He throws a sideways glance at Harry and winks. "_Yet_."

Harry shivers. "I just threw up in my mouth a little," he comments, sounding absolutely disgusted.

"What, you homophobic, bro?" he teases, pretending to sound offended, as he walks ahead and turns around to face Harry. "Because I think you are. Yeah, bro, you _are_."

"Why are you calling me bro?" Harry asks, confused. He tugs his cloak closer around him as they walk outside, heading in the general direction of the Quidditch pitch. Seamus thinks he sees Ginny duck behind a tree before Harry looks towards her.

Seamus just shrugs. "American thing. Somebody I know on the internet lives there. She keeps calling me bro and won't stop talking about bacon or something she calls 'fanfiction'..."

"Huh," Harry muses. "That sounds weird. And I didn't know you went on the internet."

"Yeah, well... I'm a rather mysterious person." They reach the Quidditch pitch, and Seamus _swears _he sees Lavender, but when he double-takes, she's gone. _Yes! This obviously means my hunch about Draco being here is right!_

"Damn." Harry looks up into the sky and sees Draco doing some flying drills. "Malfoy's here. Do you just wanna... play tomorrow or something?"

Seamus frowns. "I would much rather today. C'mon, it's a _huge _Quidditch pitch, we can share! He can have the side he's on, we'll take the other side. Let's go get some gear one."

Seamus, truthfully, has never been a very good Quidditch player. He loves the sport and all, but actually _playing _them is very different. He'll be surprised if he doesn't fall off his broom during this.

_Ah_, he thinks, _the things I do for love. And not even my own!_

Once they walk into the field though, Seamus feeling clunky in his Quidditch uniform and Harry looking like he's feeling as comfortable as if he was naked (_what a yummy image! Nobody tell Dean!_), Draco almost instantly sees them.

He flies down and gets off his broom, narrowing his eyes suspiciously at the Gryffindors. "What are you two doing here? I'm obviously already practicing," he states coldly.

"Oh, we're all eighteen here," Seamus scoffs. "We're adults. We can share. You get that half of the Quidditch pitch, we'll get this half."

"Yeah. Don't be childish, Malfoy," Harry says with narrowed eyes.

Draco grips his broom tighter, but gives a curt nod before flying off. Seamus grins and runs his tongue over his lips. "Alright, then, Harry. Let's get to it, shall we?"

With that, they're in the air. Seamus is wavering precautious in the air while Harry is zooming about professionally, and Seamus begins to truly believe that this was stupid of him. "I'm such an idiot, I'm such an idiot," he mutters to himself as he flies wobbly towards the fluttering Snitch.

Of course, this means that there are _two _Snitches in the Quidditch pitch currently... which only adds to Seamus' ingenious plan.

Seamus grabs the Snitch, which was being tame because Seamus had tampered with it (_thank you, _Quidditch For Cheaters_! Best gift Ron has ever gotten me, even though it's been no use to me until now!_), and puts it in his pocket without Harry seeing. Of course, only holding on to the broom with one hand causes him to almost fall off, but it's worth it. Also, he's shivering, but he's not sure if it's because he almost fell off or if it's because it's cold out here.

He can now clearly see Lavender and Ginny talking with each other below him. They wave to him but duck behind the walls when Harry and/or Draco look their way. They're very good spies, he's noticed - probably have had a lot of practice, both being fangirls and all.

When Harry sees Draco's still flying Snitch, he zooms towards that. Seamus, of course, has to keep up the act, so he starts to go fast towards Harry. He prays to Merlin that he doesn't fall off, or, at least, if he does, that his beautiful face isn't damaged in any horrific way.

Seamus stops when he sees Draco wobble on his broom as Harry whips past. He can't see Draco's expression, but it must be murderous, because he takes off after the other boy. Seamus notices that he doesn't even have to try to play at all, because, when Harry plays Quidditch, he's _in the zone_. There's no taking him out of _that _trance until he catches the Snitch.

Harry ducks out of the way when Draco swerves towards him. They yell something at each other, and Seamus has to inch closer to them in order to tell what it is they're saying. "What the hell are you doing on my side!" Draco demands, practically growling the question. "We _made a deal_!"

"The Snitch came over here!" Harry yells defensively. Seamus smirks deviously.

"Well, you dimwit, _I _have a Snitch out, too!" Draco replies. "So this one is _mine_, obviously!"

"No, it's mine!"

_Just shag already! _Seamus internally groans, rolling his eyes at the fighting pair. They have to get all of this angst out of them - once they do, _then_ they can be horny together.

A brilliant idea hits Seamus. He leans forward, causing his already unsteady broom to wobble even more, and heads straight towards Harry and Draco - well, mostly towards Draco. "_Look out_!" he yells, being over-dramatic, as usual.

Harry, out of his love for Draco, Seamus likes to believe, pushes the Slytherin out of the incoming Irish boy's way, successfully knocking Draco off his broom and sending them both down, with Harry clinging to his broom in a rather hopeless manner.

Seamus knows everybody in the club is going to kill him for this.

But he doesn't worry. There's a bunch of soft snow on the ground and they're only about twenty-feet in the air right now. Plus, there are two Gryffindor girls who are in love with Harry Potter watching. It would be ludicrous to think that they _wouldn't _be alright.

As expected, Seamus sees Ginny cast a cushioning charm on the ground beneath Harry and Draco right as they're about to land, and Seamus can only sigh at how that would feel - falling to the death with your (kind of) lover, touching one last time before you go _SPLAT_! But then, alas! You're saved, miraculously, and then you skip off into a field of flowers because you finally admitted your love for one another.

Seamus could only wish.

"Sorry, boys!" Seamus yells as he slowly and shakily descends. "I'm not very experienced in flying. Merlin, I'm not experienced at _all_, and I'm pretty sure I'm emotionally scarred from just _sitting _on one of these things."

Both Harry and Draco glare at Seamus in a rather murderous manner. But, at least they're still close to each other!

"We could've gotten really hurt, Seamus!" Harry scolds.

The pair doesn't look at each other but once, and when Harry looks at Draco, Seamus sees him scan him - probably for injuries. But why would one care unless you like that person? Aha, there's his point.

"You're an idiot, Finnigan," Draco snaps, scowling. "Perhaps take some flying lessons with the first years before trying again." He then trudges off, muttering something under his breath that only Seamus could hear, something that only fueled his plan.

_"You could've hurt Harry."_

Now giddy, Seamus grins at Harry. "That was fun!" he exclaims as they make their way from the Quidditch pitch to dress in normal clothes again. "I mean, thrilling is what it was! I never thought _playing _could be as fun as _watching_!"

Harry scowls. "It would've been fun if it wasn't for Malfoy."

"Still hung up on that, eh?" Seamus puts an arm around Harry's shoulders. "_I _had fun, at least. Maybe you and Malfoy should put your differences aside or something and be civil."

Harry doesn't reply to that, and Seamus doesn't know what else to say. He drops his arms and they walk in silence.

_Perhaps this will be just a tad bit harder than I thought_.

* * *

"Professor Snape, Professor Dumbledore. Nice to see you again."

"Nice to see you still have eyebrows, Mr. Finnigan," Professor Snape comments, smirking evilly.

"What do we owe the pleasure, young man?" Dumbledore asks, stroking his beard thoughtfully. "Why, exactly, are you in the Headmistress' office?"

"Oh. Headmistress McGonagall called me in here for some reason and she went to get something," Seamus explains, tapping his fingers against McGonagall's desk. "I'm not sure what I did wrong, but since I don't have to do potions, there can't be much..."

"You always _were _a trouble maker," Snape points out, his eyes narrowed in a very scary glare that always makes Seamus shiver. And _not _in the good way, either.

Dumbledore chuckles lightly. "Oh, yes! The Seamus Finnigan who blew up the potions classroom! Yes, yes, I remember you rather vividly now."

"I could be remembered for my complete and total awesomeness, but no..." Seamus sulks over to a chair and sits down, waiting patiently - well, as patient as _Seamus _can be - for the Headmistress.

Finally, a few minutes later, she walks in with a folder in her hand. "Ah, Mr. Finnigan. I hope you didn't cause too much trouble in my office while I wasn't present?" she asks with a quirked eyebrow, sitting down behind her desk.

"Of course not, Headmistress," Seamus answers, rather formally. Snape is surprised by his... etiquette so far. Never was he like this in _his _class!

"Very well. Now, Mr. Finnigan, by random, you have been chosen to be one of the chaperones to take the second years into the Forbidden Forest for a field trip. It's been something we've been meaning to do for years now, and now that the War is over..."

"What?! Why didn't _I _get to do that when _I _was a second year?" Seamus whines, pouting. Snape smirks; now _this _is the Seamus he knew and hated.

McGonagall sighs. "Because we were all very worried about Lord Voldemort and such. The Forbidden Forest was scary for most students, but we don't have anything to worry about anymore, and our excuses have run out. It will be a very good learning experience for them." She smirks. "Anyways, they'll never try to go in there after seeing the creatures that lurk inside."

Snape is surprised - and proud.

Dumbledore grins at the new Headmistress.

"Alright," Seamus agrees. "But I'm only _one _of the chaperones. Who else was chosen?"

"Luna Lovegood, Blaise Zabini, Harry Potter, Draco Malfoy, and Lavender Brown. The teachers there will be Professor Slughorn and Professor Twain, since it's both for Potions and Defense Against the Dark Arts."

It takes a moment for Seamus to realize how truly _perfect _this is.

There are two club members (Luna and Lavender), the two subjects (Harry and Draco), and one subject's 'special friend' (Blaise)! This will be incredibly delicious, Seamus just _knows_.

"Two trips will be taken, one tomorrow, and one on Friday," the Headmistress continues, folding her hands together on her desk. "I trust you will be ready. We'll be providing lunch for all the students and we'll be out there from ten to two, forty-five minutes for Potions, forty-five minutes for Defense, and thirty minutes for lunch break. Any questions?"

"No."

"Very well. I'll see you tomorrow outside of the Forbidden Forest. You have no classes to worry about."

"Wait." Seamus pauses. "I actually have just _one_ question. Why didn't you choose the Prefects to do this?"

Headmistress McGonagall holds up a finger and opens her mouth to speak, but nothing comes out. She closes her mouth, and then opens it again. "Well, to answer your question, I just decided to Prefects are much too busy for this..."

"I have a feeling we weren't randomly picked," Seamus says slowly, crossing his arms and smirking.

McGonagall looks down at her papers. "I don't know what you're talking about, Mr. Finnigan. Now, go, get some rest! Be ready!"

* * *

"What the _hell _are you doing here, Potter?"

Harry glares at Draco. "I'm here to be a chaperone."

Seamus rolls his eyes at them. They're very good actors, he's realizes, to act like they hate each other, when, really, they love each other. Dearly. Or, at least, Seamus likes to believe.

Before Seamus left the common room this morning, Dean told him to be careful, and, if he got hurt, that he would kill him. Seamus, of course, couldn't take this seriously, and asked what would happen if he tripped and scrapped his knee.

Dean had glared at him. "Just be careful, you idiot," he told him. "We've practically _just _started dating. I don't want to lose you already... why couldn't you've told Professor McGonagall no?"

"Because it's mandatory," Seamus explained. "And, anyways, don't worry, babe. I'll be completely fine."

So now, here he stands, next to Luna and Lavender, one of which is bouncing from foot to foot nervously. "I'm scared," Lavender squeals, clutching a notebook to her chest - apparently, she's using this as an opportunity to study... just not the Forbidden Forest. Since she's going to be in close quarters to both Harry _and _Draco, she's going to take Ginny's place if Seamus isn't able to watch them.

"Remember your jobs," he reminds both of the girls, rubbing his slightly cold hands together. All of the snow is gone, melted away by rain, but it's still cold out. "And, just so you know, tonight Colin's bringing cupcakes. Just look forward to that to get you through the day."

"Actually, I'd rather just look at Harry." Lavender gazes at him with a dreamy sigh.

"Let's go through the plan again," Luna suggests in her slow, dreamy tone. "I have to lure Harry into a place where Draco is so they can have quality time? How exactly should I go about that, Seamus?"

Seamus shrugs. "Just be yourself. Tell him that you saw Nargles over there and you need him to help you chase them."

Luna gasps and takes a single step back. "But one should never lie about Nargles, for he won't believe me when they really _are _there!" she says. "It's just like the boy who cried wolf!"

"We're doing this in the name of love!" Seamus protests. "Make an exception."

Luna doesn't look happy about it, but she gives a very curt nod.

Lavender pokes Seamus in the ribs. "Seamus? How am I supposed to distract the Professors during lunch?"

"Well, if they're having lunch together, that'll be quite easy. Ask... how to use a potion to distract some type of beast. I'm sure they'll start arguing about things and your job will be rather easy."

"And how are you going to lure away Draco?" Lavender squeals, beginning to hop nervously again. "Merlin, I'm freaking out!"

"Calm down!" Seamus puts his hands on her shoulders. "You'll be fine, Lavender, and so will I. I have my ways. Just remember: act natural. They'll know we're up to something if you act this nervous."

Lavender takes in quick breaths, apparently trying to calm down, and nods.

Seamus looks over at Harry, whose talking to Professor Twain, but glances over her shoulder at Draco every once in a while. You see, it's not that obvious when they look at each other - Seamus has just trained himself to notice it. He's become very observant ever since starting this mission, for some reason. If he wasn't, it would very obviously look like Harry was glancing at the Forbidden Forest nervously.

_The problem with them_, Seamus thinks, _is that neither of them are willing to admit or try anything. Which, really, is rather confusing. Then again, if it wasn't for me and the way I am, Dean and I would never have started dating..._

"Alright! Let's head in!" Professor Twain announces in her lovely voice. Professor Twain is a very pretty, very young woman - kind of like a female version of Lockhart, but smarter and less arrogant. She's probably the best Defense teacher Seamus has ever had.

All of the students line up, with the chaperones in front, back and on the sides. The two professors are leading the way. Along with the chaperones is going to be Hagrid, who, apparently, the teachers brought along for protection. Seamus knows that it's probably for Slughorn - Professor Twain is just too awesome to need protection.

Seamus is in the back with Draco, Luna and Blaise are on one side, and Harry and Hagrid are on the other. The walk into the Forest, the second years chattering excitedly. Draco and Seamus are silent for a rather long time during the walk, before Seamus changes that.

"So Quidditch was pretty exciting the other day," Seamus comments casually, swinging his arms by his sides.

Draco sighs. "Don't try to talk to me, Finnigan."

"Oh, _Draco_," Seamus says, putting extra emphasis on _Draco_. "Get real. We're both adults here, like I said on the Quidditch field. Do you just hate me because I'm Gryffindor?"

"No. You're also an idiot."

"Funny. But I'm too awesome to be called an idiot - I'm too awesome to be called anything other than _awesome_," Seamus explains, as if trying to tell this to a small child.

Draco glares at him. "Please, just stop talking."

"I will if you _start_."

Draco is obviously surprised by this. "What are you talking about, Finnigan?" he snaps, lengthening his strides when he realizes that they fell away from the group during their conversation.

"Start talking, bucko," Seamus pushes. He needs Draco to talk freely about Harry or any other type of emotions; it will be like Draco's practicing to tell Harry that he likes him.

_Ahem - loves. Not likes._

It's rather fortunate that Draco and Seamus are in the back instead of on the sides, because they can easily ignore the lessons being given by the professors in the front. "Dammit," Draco mutters, obviously realizing the same thing that Seamus just has.

Seamus smirks and crosses his arms. "Talk about... Quidditch." He needs to start slow or Draco won't trust him enough to talk about things like... Harry.

Which, really, is the whole _point _of _everything _nowadays.

Draco's silent for a moment. "I'm not all that into Quidditch anymore," he says finally, not even glancing at Seamus. "It seems... petty compared to other things. I'd much rather just concentrate on more important things."

"What, so you can't have a hobby?"

"I'm not saying that, Finnigan, it's just that _I _don't _want _a hobby. I would much rather just... work."

"All work and no play makes Drakey a dull boy," Seamus recites, winking flirtatiously at Draco.

Draco pauses for a moment and Seamus notices just then that the whole _group _had paused. Were they _all _listening to Draco's and his conversation? Draco pulls a second year back into line when he starts to wander, never taking his eyes off of Seamus. "Do you fancy me?"

Seamus' brain takes a moment to process this. When he does, though, he breaks out in a loud, uncontrollable laugh that travels all the way to the professors in the front of the group. "Mr. Finnigan!" Professor Twain snaps. "Please, be quiet! We're trying to teach a _lesson_, here!"

Seamus stops laughing to salute her. "Yes, ma'am! I'm sorry, Draco's just being hilarious..." He grins at Draco and has to hold back another laugh.

Draco glares at him. "What's so funny? I asked a legitimate question."

"Yeah, I'd fancy you... If I was _brain dead_," Seamus retorts, crossing his arms. "You're not my type, really, and I already have a boyfriend, so, there." Seamus doesn't even realize what he said until Draco points it out.

"_Boyfriend_? So you _are_ a fairy?"

"That's offensive!" Seamus cries, earning another glare from Professor Twain. "I'm not a fairy," he says in a heated, argumentative whisper. "Maybe I'm gay, but I'm not a fairy, so just shut your fucking mouth!"

"Didn't mean to offend you, Finnigan," Draco replies, holding his hands up in surrender. "I didn't know you were so easily offended, anyways. Aren't you the one always joking around?"

"I'm not easily offended," Seamus says, crossing his arms. "I just... don't want to be made fun of just because I'm different from people. Hateful people, like _you_."

Draco mutters something under his breath with a shake of his head.

Seamus raises an eyebrow. "What'd you just say, Draco? I didn't quite catch that." In reality, he's pretty sure he _did _catch that, but he just wants to make him say it louder.

Draco glares at Seamus. "I _said_, Finnigan, maybe we're not all that different. Who said we were?"

"Does that mean _you're _a 'fairy'?"

"Could you two _shut up_?" A girl in front of them glares at them, her arms crossed and black hair a frizzy mess. "I'm trying to _learn_, dimwits." She then whips around, facing the teachers once again.

"Like a mini 'Mione," Seamus muses, seeming the tiniest bit scared by the snappy young lady. "Anyway, Draco, answer my question."

Draco gives him a sideways glance. "We should shut up. She's trying to learn."

"So you _are_," Seamus says, nodding, his chin now resting in his hand in a thoughtful pose. "Ahahaha, I thought you might be, really, especially because of your little escapades with Blaise Zabini."

Draco's surprise shows clearly on his face for a split second when he looks at Seamus. "_What_? I don't know what you're talking about."

"Ah, isn't this step one, darling Draco? Deny, deny, deny?"

Draco's eyes slowly narrow at the Irish boy, and he takes a step closer. "You tell anyone, and I'll..."

Seamus smiles brilliantly. "I wasn't planning on telling anyone, dear. As long as you keep _my _secret, I'll keep both of yours."

"What are you talking about, Finnigan? 'Both'? I thought we were only talking about Blaise and I."

"But I know secrets that nobody in the world knows, except for me and my gang, and maybe not even you," Seamus explains happily, a smile constantly playing his lips. It's funny to see the blond Slytherin seething in front of him, because he's _never_ had one-up on a Slytherin before. Except for the one he made do his laundry... but that was because of a bet.

Draco and Seamus both start walking again with the group. "You don't know _anything _about me."

"I know things. Believe me, I _know _things. I'm smarter than you think, Draco."

"No you're not," the girl in front of them snorts; Mini 'Mione. "You probably happened to stumble upon to information by complete coincidence, probably the same way that you discovered he was gay. _That _does _not_ mean you're 'smarter than he thinks'."

"Hey!" Seamus says. "Why are you eavesdropping anyways?" Draco looks horrified by Mini 'Mione.

She crosses her arms in a rather sassy manner. "You two are being so loud, and I already know everything they're teaching me, so it's not like it matters." She looks Draco up and down. "Hey, aren't you Draco Malfoy? I read about you in the Harry Potter biography."

Draco snorts. "Nice place to have my name."

"What's your name?" Seamus asks Mini 'Mione, tilting his head curiously.

She straightens her uniform and holds out her hand. "Harmony Ranger."

"The similarities don't end, do they?" Seamus muses as he shakes the young girl's hand. "It's nice to meet you, Harmony. I'm Seamus Finnigan, and I could really use you for a certain project, also."

"Sorry, I'm not supposed to help strange men with things," she explains to them, wiping her hand on her robe after Seamus lets go of it. "Let me guess - you need help finding your puppy! Sorry, I'm not stupid."

Seamus rolls his eyes. "Puh-_lease_. If my puppy was lost, I would _obviously _call in a search party to recover it or its remains. I need you for something that requires strategy and brains; and, if you're a fan of Harry Potter or dear Draco, you won't regret it."

She looks up at Draco, who looks slightly confused, and then back at Seamus. "Fine. But what's in it for me?"

"Well, what do you want?"

"A date with Draco."

If Draco had been eating something, he would've choked. "_What_?"

Harmony puts her hands on her hips. "Of course, it wouldn't be romantic, since you're gay, but it would be a date, nonetheless. You're a handsome boy and maybe going on a date with you would make some other girls impressed, possibly prompting them to like me and be my acquaintance."

Draco looks more creeped out than flattered, probably because she looks and acts so much like Hermione, the one who punched him in his third year - the only reason Seamus knows about _that _is because Hermione couldn't help but brag about it to the nearest person after the event with Sirius Black and Professor Lupin. Which just so happened to be Seamus.

"So you want it to make you popular?" Seamus asks blatantly, earning a flinch-worthy glare.

"No, I just want some friends," she snaps. "Nobody appreciates anybody smart nowadays. I would also like a date with Harry, too."

"Done," Seamus says. "Now, are you ready to hear the plan, my dear girl?"

Through the rest of the first lesson, Seamus explains the Harry-Draco-Love-Each-Other-Too-Stubborn-To-Admit-It thing, after pushing Draco out of the conversation completely so that he couldn't hear anything that they were saying.

"I'll make a new plan for it, since you obviously don't have one. And, if you do, it's probably _really _lame," Harmony tells him once the first lesson is over and everybody sitting down to eat in a relatively safe clearing. After lunch, they're meeting centaurs!

"What? That's offensive?"

Harmony rolls her eyes. "Tell me your plan, then. What is it?"

Seamus is silent for a moment. "Well... Lavender, over there, was supposed to distract the professors during lunch so that Luna, right there, could lure Harry somewhere private, and I, right here, was supposed to lure Draco to the same space."

"And then what?"

Seamus blinks. "Well... I'd wing it from there."

Harmony gives a laugh that doesn't sound very amused. "No, no, no, my dear boy. You simply need me to figure it out for you. Give me five minutes."

"What? But then we only have twenty-five minutes to get them to shag each other!"

Harmony knits her eyebrows together. "Shag?"

Seamus shakes his head. "Don't tell anybody I taught you that word, and don't say it around anybody. But just quickly make the plan so that we can achieve their happiness and, in theirs, our own!"

"Deep," she comments dryly before pulling out a parchment and her quill. "Make sure they don't kill each other before this is done."

"Hurry." With that, Seamus strides over from the empty picnic blanket Harmony is sitting on over to the over-crowded one that Harry is sitting on. The two professors are drinking tea and discussing things on the blanket next to Harry's, Slughorn looking plump and awkward while Twain looks curvy and lady-like as ever. Honestly, she is so _fine_, Seamus could probably go straight for her.

Seamus plops down next to Harry, grinning from ear to ear. "Hi, Harry," he comments adoringly, looping his arm through his friend's. "How are you? And are you going to eat that sandwich?"

Harry looks at Seamus and then back at his sandwich. "Why, yes. I was, actually."

Seamus pouts. "Pity."

"Who's that girl you were with?" Harry asks curiously, glancing at Harmony. "She reminds me of someone, but I can't quite put my finger on it."

"Her name is Harmony, and she's pretty cool, for a twelve year-old," Seamus explains, tilting his hand back and forth in a so-so motion. "Not to sound like a pedophile, but I have a feeling she's going to be really hot when she's older."

"You sound like a pedophile." Harry takes a bite of his sandwich and Seamus looks around. Blaise and Draco are sitting at different blankets, and they don't even glance at each other, nor do they ever speak with each other during class or any other time. It seems their lips are usually too preoccupied doing other things that Seamus would prefer not to think about.

Seamus stands without warning and goes over to sit next to Draco. "Hey," he says flintily, looping his arm with Draco's in a slow, suggestive manner, unlike with Harry. "How's Drakey doing?"

Draco's nose wrinkles in a disgust and he attempts to pry Seamus off of him. "Get off of me, Finnigan," he sighs. "It's bad enough that there are already rumors going around that I'm gay, no reason to full the fire."

"Ah! But why not fuel the truth!" Seamus says, still not letting go of Draco's arm. "Sorry, I don't take rejection well. Harry didn't pry me off."

"Like I want to be compared to him," Draco scoffs, finally successfully getting Seamus to let go of him. He doesn't have any food around him, and is instead looking at a potion's journal. No kids are at his blanket, most deciding to crowd around Harry or Lavender, whose probably gossiping with them. Many have also gone to talk to - or laugh at - Luna, whose probably telling them about the Quibbler and offering them free subscriptions.

Seamus lays down on the blanket and glances at Harmony. When she notices him, she holds up a finger in the universal don't-get-your-knickers-in-a-twist-I'm-almost-done sign. He nods at her.

"Very well," he says, nodding. "Then I won't. Who would you rather be compared to? Choir boys? I wouldn't want to be, but whatever floats your boat, if you know what I mean..."

"Be quiet," Draco snaps. "I'm trying to read, and it would be _very_ kind of you to shut your mouth."

"I know when to shut my mouth, as well as when to keep it open."

Draco blinks at him. "You really need to think before you say."

"Where's the fun in that?" Seamus muses before standing up. "I'm going to speak with interesting people now. When you decide to become interesting, owl me. Until then, ta ta for now!"

Harmony is waiting for him when he sits down at the blanket. "It's all mapped out now," she explains to him, showing him the parchment. "There's a clearing not too far from here just like this one - I made sure not to make it the same one Harry died in - and you can lure Draco and Luna can lure Harry, since she obviously has a very good chance of it. Lavender can distract everyone else, since she obviously won't be able to distract the professors. I'll do that."

"Okay, okay, go on," Seamus urges, beginning to bounce up and down from excitement.

She clears her throat. "Anyways, as I was saying before being interrupted-" she shoots a glare at Seamus "-getting them into the clearing is the easy part. Now, getting them to respond to each other in a positive way is harder. You must somehow trick them into it... so this is what you have to do."

* * *

"Hey, Dracooooo."

Draco doesn't even bother looking up at Seamus from his seat in the same place as before on his mostly empty blanket. "Go away."

"Well, I kind of need your help," Seamus explains slowly, wringing his hands. "I lost my puppy in the woods, and I'll give you candy if you help me find him/her..."

"Are you trying to rape me, Finnigan?" Draco asks emotionlessly, looking up at him with a bored expression. "What do you want, if anything at all?"

"I need you to come with me, into the Forbidden Forest," Seamus says, exasperated, "to help me find my puppy! What other reason would I have, really, Draco?"

Draco stares at him for a moment before standing. "Fine. I'll humor you, mostly because I believe that this will prove to be entertaining and I'm rather tired of just sitting here."

Seamus beams. "Great! Let's go!"

They both go into the thick Forbidden Forest, wands at the ready as they follow the trail that Harmony pointed out that leads to the other clearing. Seamus knows that if they sneak up on Harry and Luna, they'll be hexed into oblivion, but that's fair enough, because they'd do the same if they were surprised.

Surprisingly, Harry, Luna, Draco and Seamus all get into the clearing around the same time. "Oh, hello, Harry!" Seamus greets, a little too enthusiastically.

"Hello, Draco," Luna greets, that usual dreamy smile playing her lips. "What a coincidence to meet out here like this."

Harry glares at Draco. "Malfoy."

Draco smoothly raises a perfectly trimmed eyebrow. "Out to do a little snogging with one of your many girlfriends, I take it, Potter?"

"Luna's just a friend!" Harry snaps, still glaring. Seamus wouldn't doubt if he just beat the world record for world's longest, deadliest glare.

Luna frowns. "I'd think we're rather good friends, aren't we, Harry?"

Seamus giggles. "Oh, yes, I would think." He nudges Draco suggestively. "Wouldn't you, Draco?"

"What'd you bring me out here for, then, Seamus?" Draco snaps, crossing his arms impatiently.

"You brought him out here?" Harry asks incredulously. "Merlin, Seamus, I didn't know your standards are so _low_. And no wonder you've been staring at him lately! Does Dean know about this?"

_This is going well_, Seamus thinks to himself happily, grinning. "Yes."

Harry seems taking aback by the answer, and so does Draco. "What are you _talking_ about?" Draco snaps, his eyes narrowed. "I'm not out here to screw you!"

"I know," Seamus replies. "And Harry's not out here to screw Luna, either; and, anyways, I would be screwing _you_, my dear Drakey, not the other way around."

"Then why'd you bring me out here?" Draco practically barks, at the same time that Harry says, "C'mon, Luna, forget about the Nargles. Let's get out of here."

"But the Nargles stole my trousers! And they're in this forest!" Seamus quickly cries, proud of himself for the approving look Luna gives him.

Both Draco and Harry are disbelieving. "No, they didn't," Harry says. "You're wearing a pair right now, how could they steal them?"

"Remember when I lost my trousers? Well, I've been wearing yours and Dean's for the past week," Seamus explains before pretending to look around. "I tracked down the Nargles, with Luna's help, to locate my trousers. And I brought Draco along because, well, he's cool."

Harry scoffs and mutters something while Draco glares at everything. Seamus can't help the wide smile that takes over his face as he thinks of Harmony's plan. _I like to call it positive reinforcement. You lie to them, making them think that the other person is responsible for a compliment or thought, and then they'll take the bait depending on how realistic it is. By the time they figure out you'd lied to them, it's already too late and they've already been nice to each other._

So while Draco is helping look, Seamus slides by him and says, "Harry's staring at your arse."

Draco instantly whips around, eyes uncharacteristically wide. "What?" he hisses, glancing at Harry, who is looking around, facing the same direction as Draco. It's completely possible for him to have been staring at Draco's butt before he looked at him.

Seamus grins. "I think he might like you, you know."

"Dimwit. Potter's straight, and probably the most revolting man alive," Draco huffs, and Seamus notes how he said that Harry's straight _before _saying that he's the most revolting man alive.

Now to try the same thing on Harry.

Seamus casually makes his way over to Harry, leans over like with Draco and whispers, "Draco's staring at your arse."

Harry reacted a lot like Draco did, but, when he stands up straight from bending over to dig through a pile of leaves for Nargles (does he even know what they are?), he hits his head, hard, on a branch. "Ow!" he cries, his hand flying up to the back of his head in order to comfort himself, somehow. "_Seamus_!"

"I was just trying to inform you," Seamus replies innocently, holding his hands up in a form of surrender. "I don't know, I figured you'd want to know."

Harry's cheeks turn a deep shade of red, and Seamus instantly knows that he's done good. "He was _not_, Seamus, you just think that because you're gay and so everybody else has to be gay-"

"No, I think that you're thinking that whenever fangirls read a book, all of the male characters have to be gay. The reality of straight men is all too real for me, since my boyfriend used to think that he was one. I'm just saying, you have a nice ass, and Draco was staring at it." He then promptly turns around and walks away.

Both Draco and Harry keep their eyes on one another after that.

"The Nargles have left," Luna announces, taking off her Spectrespecs and frowning deeply. "I suppose we'll have to keep looking some other time. I'm sorry we couldn't find your trousers, Seamus."

Seamus grins, but says, "That's all right. It's not like I wear trousers all that often, anyways."

* * *

Back at the castle, in the RoR, Seamus plops into his seat and exhales a large breath. He seems to be the only exhausted one, though; the rest of the Harry Potter Fanclub is jubilant, excited to hear a highly detailed retelling of Draco and Harry's encounter; or it may just be because Colin put too much sugar into the cupcakes.

Which are strawberry.

Seamus knows he's drooling at the thought, but is numb everywhere; well, not _everywhere_ (wink, wink), but you get the picture.

"C'mon, Seamus, tell us about it!" Colin urges, seeming even more jumpy than Luna when you tell her that there're Nargles nearby. "We've been waiting _all day_."

Cho crosses her arms moodily in one of the seats, not saying anything. Lavender is chattering with Ginny, who had mistakenly asked her how the trip went; and, with Lavender, over-exaggerated details are key.

Luna is talking with Padma and trying to explain what Nargles are and why they used them for a distraction, while Colin keeps bothering Seamus. Seamus notices Parvarti slipping Colin's notebook from his seat and begin to read it, but decides to just let it go.

Seamus, not being able to resist the strawberry cupcakes on the table, finally gets up. "Alright, alright. Everybody sit down; and, Parvarti, please try to refrain from touching things that aren't yours."

Parvarti looks up at Seamus and blushes before Colin gasps and snatches the notebook from her, deciding to sit on the other side of the room away from the offender.

Seamus stuffs a whole cupcake in his mouth, and the whole group watches him as he slowly chews the moist bundle of joy and eventually swallows it. He takes another cupcake and then stands in front of the group. As he nibbles, he tells the group about the whole encounter.

"...and then Harry freaked out, accusing me of lying," he finishes, all of the girls (well, except for Colin... nope, all girls.) wide eyed. "Even though I was, but you know."

All of the girls squeal and begin discussing it amongst themselves. Seamus takes this as an opportunity to stuff three cupcakes into his mouth at once, and instantly finds it's hard to move his jaw. _Whatever_, he thinks. _No regrets, motherfu-_

"This is taking _way _too long!" Cho snaps suddenly. "We need to do something to make this _stupid plan_ move along, or I'm going to explode!"

"Love takes time-" Seamus starts, little pink pieces of cupcake tumbling out of his mouth and onto the ground; the RoR instantly cleans it up, the crumbs disappearing just seconds after they hit the ground.

"No," Cho interrupts, standing. "I'm not the patient type, especially when it comes to Harry. And, since he's not going to be with me, we might as well find out if this thing with Draco is real or not. So let's get the hell out there and get them together!"

They're all surprised by Cho's outburst. Even Colin meekly put down his fantasy notebook in order to listen to her.

Seamus swallows the bunch of cupcake in his mouth. "Alright, then. Do you have a plan?"

"Of course I do," Cho retorts, crossing her arms. "I'm a Ravenclaw, after all."

Seamus calls in Harmony in order to assist Cho, and she was almost grateful for Harmony's help. Almost. Cho doesn't really seem like the grateful type, anyways.

"What do you think they're talking about right now?" Ginny asks curiously, peering at Cho and Harmony, who are, apparently, making a map.

"I wonder what Cho's plan was," Parvarti thinks aloud, leaning over Seamus' shoulder.

Seamus gives a lazy shrug. "We may never know, because Harmony's probably nitpicking it right now. No plan can escape Harmony's wrath without being dramatically changed; like your nose after meeting a plastic surgeon."

"Plastic surgeon?" Lavender asks, tilting her head in confusion.

Seamus shakes his head. "Muggle thing, forget I said anything. I hardly know what it is, really."

Finally, after what feels like forever and fifty cupcakes later, Harmony and Cho stand up and walk over to the rest of the group. Colin is down to the nitty gritty in his notebook, and is writing on the cardboard back, but he instantly slams it shut and looks up at the two girls with wide eyes.

Cho clears her throat. "We've decided to call this plan Operation Drarry. If anybody disagrees with it, you can stick a cupcake up your-"

"Mouth," Harmony interrupts calmly, nudging Cho. "She was going to say mouth. Anyway, this is Operation Drarry, which we've officially deemed to be Draco and Harry's couple name for shipping. This plan consists of three major parts that will all last for one to one and a half days, giving us almost immediate results."

And then they went on to describe one of the most exciting, fangirly plans he's ever heard.

* * *

Time for the letters.

Seamus watches Harry in what he believes to be an inconspicuous way during breakfast, before the post arrives. Dean rolls his eyes as he stuffs his mouth with scrambled eggs, rather amused and just a tad annoyed by his boyfriend. At least after all this is over, Seamus will be in the mood to celebrate.

Harry finally gets so irritated by Seamus' staring that he turns and snaps at him. "_What_?"

Seamus only smiles. "What?"

Harry narrows his eyes and glares at Seamus so harshly that the unlucky few who were affected radiation from the pure malice flinched. "Stop fucking _staring_ at me, okay? I'm tired of it. I'm trying to eat."

Seamus shrugs, his smile faded but still playing on his lips. "Whatever, mate. I wasn't staring at you."

Harry's so angry he could probably shove a fork into Seamus' eye and feel no regrets, even after he calms down.

Seamus begins to eat some toast and stare at Draco, which frustrates Harry even farther. Ron and Hermione are oblivious to Harry, staring at each other with lovey-dovey eyes and practically cooing with affection.

Seamus makes a mental note to do that with Dean after they're outed.

When Seamus glances at Ginny, she nods at him, and he winks at her with his signature grin. And then the owls fly in.

They drop mail to most of the students, and to all of the Hufflepuffs. Hell breaks loose whenever a Hufflepuff doesn't get a letter from one of his/her parents, and then the professors eventually have to let the students Floo home to see if they're alright or (awkward) if they love them anymore.

Seamus hears the light tap of the letter on Harry's plate, and then sees Draco's nearly fall into his pumpkin juice, but is caught with the reflexes that probably come from being seeker on the Slytherin Quidditch team for four years.

"Ooh, whose the letter from, mate?" Seamus asks innocently and curiously, leaning over by Harry to look at the letter.

All of Harry's anger from earlier seems to disappear from his face as he looks at the letter and blinks. "It doesn't have a return address."

Seamus gasps. "How mysterious! Open it now, let's see what it says!"

Harry opens it, reads it over, and then quickly folds it shut again. It seems to be in perfect timing with Draco, who both look at each other at the same time. Harry's whole face is red as he gets up, saying, "I have to, um, go..."

"Where? What did the letter say?" Seamus asks, even though he already knows the answers. Harry just keeps walking, ignoring the Irish boy behind him.

Seamus grins. Now for part two. He could already see Luna prancing over to the Slytherin table in order to gather Draco's friends, even though Draco hasn't left yet. Instead of bright red, like Harry, he's pale as a ghost.

"Oi, Hermione, Ron," Seamus says, snapping his finger in order to bring their attention from la la land to the real world again. "I need to talk to you."

Ron blinks and looks at him, and Hermione still looks to be rather dazed. "Yeah?" Ron asks, turning his full attention to Seamus.

"Somewhere private."

Hermione blinks and snaps out of it. She crosses her arms. "This isn't about anything inappropriate, is it?"

Seamus gives a small, wicked smile. "That'll be for you to decide."

So Ron and Hermione, both suspicious of Seamus' intentions, follow him from the Great Hall into an empty classroom. "Alright. You two are best friends with Harry, correct?"

Hermione answers. "Yes. We have been ever since first year, you know that."

"I just wanted to hear you say it," Seamus shrugs, "since you've been ignoring him and making googly eyes at each other all year so far. It's rather annoying."

Hermione narrows her eyes while Ron's ears turn pink. "We don't _ignore _him."

Seamus rolls his eyes. "Yeah, you do, 'Mione. You're so caught up in your relationship that you don't even notice that he's in love with somebody and practically begging for help in getting that person to realize it. Which is where I come in."

"Whose he in love with?" Ron asks, sounding confused, leaning against the desks.

"If I tell you, I'll be giving away a secret that isn't mine. Which means you can holler at me all you want, but you can't belittle Harry for it. You have to accept whoever he's in love with, and him, as well."

Hermione bites her lip, but nods.

Ron blinks. "What, it's not a Hufflepuff, is it?"

Seamus braces himself. "No. Harry's in love with Draco Malfoy."

* * *

There's a lot of screaming going on right now. Seamus has stopped paying attention and is currently thanking Merlin for silencing charms so that not just anybody would be able to hear the cursing and insults that he has to endure.

When Seamus tunes back in, he hears Ron yell, "THAT LITTLE FERRET, HE GAVE MY BEST MATE A LOVE POTION, DIDN'T HE? OR DID HE CAST A LOVE SPELL OR SOMETHING? OH, I'M GOING TO SHOVE HIS OWN WAND UP HIS-"

"Sorry to burst your bubble, Ron, but he'd probably _like_ that," Seamus interrupts with a wink, and giggles at the sight of Ron's face turning a rather amusing shade of red. "Considering Draco's gay."

Hermione is also seething. "Seamus, shut up! How do you even _know _any of this? Harry's not _in love_ with that bastard! And he sure as hell is not gay!"

"Wow, I didn't know you swear, being all smart and that," Seamus comments, smiling. "But, no. Harry isn't gay. Like I've said to many people already, he's Dracosexual. He only likes Draco." He pauses. "Well, _loves_."

"No!" Ron yells.

"I'm with Ron," Hermione snaps, clenching her hands into small fists. "Harry doesn't like men. And, for him to fall in love with somebody like Draco is crazy and impossible."

"It's crazy but true; remember, truth is stranger than fiction."

"But he's a _Death Eater_-"

"I was pretty sure the War was over."

"Harry and Malfoy are archrivals-"

"Have they even really spoken to each other since the War?"

Both Ron and Hermione clamp their mouths shut, their arguments going nowhere. Seamus clears his throat. "I know this is hard to swallow, and I didn't believe it when I realized it, either. But Harry needs your help. It's March. The school year is nearly over. Help me, help you, help Harry."

Hermione is the first to calm down enough in order to agree. "Fine. Maybe Ron and I have been ignoring Harry a bit, and maybe, if we would've paid more attention, we would've noticed his gawking at Malfoy. It's a possibility that they're... in love."

"I refuse to help," Ron says stubbornly. He crosses his arms and looks like he's not going to budge anytime soon.

Hermione glares. "Ronald! If Harry really _is _in love with Malfoy, you don't want him to choose him over you, do you? Well?"

Ron slowly uncrosses his arms and sighs. "Fine, fine. But where's the proof?"

Seamus, not having any substantial proof, gives a small laugh. "You're just going to have to trust me on this one, guys. And, anyways, I really need you for the last part of my plan."

Ron and Hermione, although disbelieving, nod and listen to Seamus' crazy plan.

* * *

Seamus calmly sneaks along the corridor, walking on his tip toes as he follows Harry. Ron and Hermione are right behind him, and they're all under cloaking charms. But for as slowly and cautiously as Harry's walking, Seamus fears that they're going to wear off before he even reaches the Room of Requirement.

It's cliché, this Seamus knows, but that's the only room that will hide Ron, Hermione, him and the rest of the Harry Potter Fanclub. This is going to be wonderful.

Finally Harry comes upon the door, and it appears in front of him. He walks in and the door disappears; but a different door appears right next to where the last one was, and Seamus, Ron, and Hermione sneak into that one.

It seems that Harry's here before Draco, which actually surprises Seamus, considering how slow Harry was walking. Well, Seamus supposes Draco _could_ want to be fashionably late.

Most of the fanclub is already there, with the exception of Padma. "She should be here soon," explains Parvarti when Seamus asks. "She was finishing her Ancient Runes homework."

What the Room has provided for them is a small room, a little bigger than an interrogation room, with a large two-way mirror on one wall. They can see Harry standing there, and hear him, also.

"Maybe he isn't going to show up," Harry mutters to himself. "Oh, Merlin, what if this was a prank? And then he'll come down here and throw a pie in my face and say, 'Ha! This was all a trick, you dimwit, you can't believe that I really wanted to talk to _you_!'"

Seamus smirks. Draco doesn't want to talk to Harry, but Harry thinks that Draco does, and Draco thinks that Harry does as well. The letters that they received, thinking they were from each other, were actually from Seamus. Both the letters read:

_Potter_ or _Malfoy,_

_I would like to please talk to you in the Room of Requirements tonight, after curfew. Don't bring anyone with you, it's rather private._

_DM_ or _HP_.

Of course, this plan could backfire horribly, but if it doesn't, the rewards will be immense. Finally, all the sexual tension will be over and Seamus will be able to breathe again!

"Why am I talking to myself?" Harry says, sitting down on a chair that suddenly appeared (apparently, the Room figures it's necessary) and lacing his fingers through his hair in distress. "Do _not_ think about Malfoy. Do _not_ think about his creamy white skin... or his platinum blond hair... or his... nicely toned... body..."

"Well, that escalated quickly," Seamus comments, smirking.

"You can practically see the 'escalation' from here!" Lavender squeals, beginning to giggle furiously with the other girls. Suddenly, it seems as if she's just looked around the room - and notices Ron.

"Well, look who it is," she says dryly, glaring at him. Parvarti bites her lip and backs away, definitely knowing this isn't going to go well. "Harry's unworthy best friend."

Ron looks awkward beyond believe. "Hey, Lavender..."

Hermione doesn't do a very good job masking her giggle.

"Why are you even _here_?" she snaps, and then turns to Seamus. "Why are they here, Seamus? I thought this was exclusively for club members!"

"Wait," Ron says slowly, "club members? What club are you a part of? Ginny? What are you doing here, hiding behind Parvarti?"

Colin squeaks. "This isn't going to be good!"

Cho steps up bravely and says, "This is the Harry Potter Fanclub, and we're here to help Harry and Draco get together. We all want to see Harry happy."

Hermione has to hide her face from the club, her whole body trembling with uncontrollable, silent giggles.

Seamus grins. "I'm not an official member, but I enlisted them to help."

"Speaking of enlisting," Luna says, "where's Harmony? I thought she was going to be here."

"Don't you mean Hermione, Luna?" Ron asks, still completely oblivious and confused. "And why does Harry have a _fanclub_?"

Seamus sets a hand on Ron's shoulder. "There's a lot for you to learn, Ron. Harry has a fanclub because he's the Savior of the Wizarding World, and Ginny's here because she formed the fanclub. And Harmony is a girl who helped us with the plan."

When Ron's about to open his mouth to ask more questions, Padma suddenly bursts in and says, "Draco just walked in!"

They all crowd around the window instantly, dead silent.

"Hello, Potter," Draco says, causing Harry to jump out of his seat and his face to burn bright red. "What a surprise, to see you here." The sarcasm is practically dripping from his voice.

"Don't do that, Draco," Padma whispers. "Don't act like some stupid son of a-"

"Shhhh!" Colin shushes impatiently, watching the action unfold in front of him like a movie.

Harry clears his throat. "Sarcasm is the lowest form of comedy, you know," he snaps, his voice lacking venom. "Also the lowest form of an insult."

"Alright, then. How else would you like me to insult you?" Draco asks, quirking an eyebrow, stepping towards him.

Harry doesn't move, which Seamus takes as a good sign. "I wouldn't like you to," he replies, crossing his arms and looking away. "So, obviously you want to talk to me..."

"And you to me."

"... so... what is it, then?"

"I think I'd be better fit to ask that question," Draco says casually, loosening his Slytherin tie. "And it better be a good topic, because I'm tired and would love to go to bed soon."

"This seems like it's going nowhere," Hermione whispers to Seamus.

Seamus smirks and looks down at her. "That's why I have this planned." He snaps his fingers and a tray of food suddenly appears next to the boys. They both jump when it does.

"What the hell?" Draco blinks, examining the food. "How did that pop up?"

"One of us is probably hungry," Harry says, embarrassed because he _is _hungry. He picks up one of the cupcakes and, with a flick of his tongue, tastes the frosting. Everybody notices Draco's uncharacteristic, wide-eyed stare as Harry does this repeatedly.

"I didn't come here to eat," Draco snaps, turning away from Harry slightly so that he can't see how flustered he is.

Harry looks down at the cupcake. "Try some. I'm sure you'll like it." He picks up another cupcake - but then puts it down. "Do you like cupcakes? Or muffins? You seem more like a muffin type of person." Harry picks up a muffin and practically stuffs it into Draco's face.

Draco looks at the muffin precautiously before nibbling on the edge. "It tastes a little... funny."

"Well, let me try some." Harry leans over and takes a slow bite out of the muffin while Draco's still holding it, and the girls squeal as Draco's eyes bug out.

Harry shrugs. "It tastes fine to me," he comments as he licks the crumbs from his lips.

Draco clears his throat. "Aren't we here to talk?"

"I suppose..."

"Then are you going to talk?"

Harry looks up at him. "Well, I'm not very good with words, obviously. I'm Harry Potter, bumbling Gryffindor, and you're Draco Malfoy, suave Slytherin."

"... Did you just compliment me?"

Harry blinks. "I... I was..."

Draco shakes his head and begins to turn around. "I'm just going to leave, this is disappointing."

"But then why'd you invite me here?" Harry asks, furrowing his brow and setting down the Veritaserum-laced cupcake.

Hermione has already gotten the point. "So you put Veritaserum in the food," she says, nodding in approval.

Everybody else doesn't get it for a moment, but then goes, "Ohhh!"

Ron doesn't say anything.

"_I _didn't invite _you_; _you_ invited _me_," Draco says in an obvious tone, giving Harry a look that's laced with belittlement and confusion.

"No, no. Because I _distinctly_ remember being shocked half to death when you sent me the letter," Harry says. "I was very confused. I mean, why would you wanna talk to _me_?"

"Because you have the body and heart of a damned _god_," Draco blurts before his mouth can control it, and he covers his mouth instantly. His whole face pales and he glares at a blushing, confused Harry. "Dammit, Potter, you but Veritaserum in that muffin!"

"Wait - that means you truly think I'm hot?" Harry's face breaks out into a grin, and Seamus is sure that the everybody else in the group passed out from the pure happiness radiating off of him.

"Obviously," Draco scoffs. "That doesn't mean that I _like _you. Aren't you dating that Weasely girl?" Draco knows he's not, but he asks anyways.

"No. It feels like I'm dating Ron whenever I go out with her," Harry admits, and Seamus hears Ginny inhale a sharp, hurt breath. Ron looks disgusted at the mention of him and Harry dating.

They stand there for a moment. "Malfoy... are you gay?"

Draco glares at him. "How dare you ask me that question while I'm on Veritaserum," he growls, but then closes his eyes and takes a deep breath. "Yes. I am. And you?"

"No."

Seamus hears Ron let out a breath of relief from beside him. "Don't think it's over quite yet, Ronald," Seamus warns him with a mischievous smirk.

"We shouldn't ask any more questions," Harry says warily. "I would rather not give away all of my secrets to... a Slytherin."

Draco quirks an eyebrow. "Why does it matter that I'm a Slytherin?"

"It doesn't." Harry sighs. "Dammit, I hate this."

"Then why does it matter?"

"Because they involve you."

Draco grins. "What are they?"

Harry keeps his mouth clamped shut, the tension in his jaw easily seen. He's honestly fighting the Veritaserum because he'd rather go against Voldemort again instead of telling Draco how he feels.

Draco takes a step towards Harry, and they're now so close that Draco has to look down at him. "What are they?" he repeats, quieter and slower.

Before the words tumble from Harry's mouth, Harry lunges toward Draco, kissing him, hard, on the lips, letting the words fall out as he does - "I'm in love with you, bastard!"

Draco stumbles back a couple steps, obviously surprised by the sudden kiss, and it takes him a moment to kiss back.

What Harry and Draco can't see, is that, in a room attached to the RoR, a whole crowd of girls and two men are cheering. Cho only smiles at the couple, but Ginny cheers, and so do Lavender, Padma, Parvarti, Seamus, Luna and Colin, but he looks more conflicted than anything.

Hermione smiles at them. "Maybe they are in love."

Ron looks sick to his stomach, his whole face pale. He can't seem to tear his eyes away from them, though. Suddenly, he sees something that changes his whole view, and he grabs Seamus away from the cheering crowd. He points at the window and growls, "If Malfoy touches my _best mate's arse_, I will _kill you_, Seamus!"

Seamus looks at them. Harry's hands are weaving through Draco's hair while Draco hands are on Harry's lower back, getting dangerously low. Seamus just whistles and winks at Ron.

But then, all of a sudden, the wall disappears.

The crowd stops cheering and the couple stops kissing. They stare at each other for a moment, everybody frozen in place.

Draco pushes Harry away. "I'll talk to you tomorrow," he mutters to him, nearly running out the door.

Harry's cheeks are cherry red. "Um..."

Ron is the first one to react. He walks over to Harry, claps him on the back, and says, "It's alright, mate. I'm not angry. A little disgusted, but not angry. I accept you."

Harry smiles at him, but his smile disappears from his face when he looks at the rest of the group. Hermione gives him a thumbs up and Luna a reassuring smile. Ginny claps her hands silently at him, showing her happiness for him.

Seamus gives a low, slow bow, smirking at him all the while. "You're welcome, Harry. I know I'm amazing, no need to tell me."

Harry blinks, saying nothing for a moment. "You... planned this?"

"I've been trying to get you two together for, what, a couple weeks now? Damn, it took such long time! Longest project I've ever worked on."

Harry lets out a low chuckle. "Thanks, Seamus. And... I can't _imagine _how Ron reacted when you told him. By the way, how did you know?"

Seamus sighs. "A man knows things like these. Especially when they're as deep - and as gay - as I am."

* * *

Two weeks later, Seamus wonders how the Harry Potter Fanclub is doing. He doesn't go visit them, though; instead, he's off to his date with Dean. He's also finally found his trousers. Ever since Harry and Draco began dating, Draco was able to get Millicent Bulstrode, the one who did Seamus' laundry after he won a bet on who was going to win the Quidditch game, to tell him where his trousers were. Turns out, they've been in Seamus' trunk the whole time.

So now, as he walks towards Hogsmeade on St. Patrick's Day, dressed from head to toe in green, he looks forward to his date. Today, he feels different. Confident. Nobody had been too hard on Harry or Draco when they found out about them dating, except for a few haters calling them fags, but the professors stopped that pretty quickly.

When finally in Hogsmeade, he sees Dean standing outside of Honeydukes, just like he had been a few weeks ago. Seamus takes a moment to truly appreciate the fact that, out of all the men Dean could have, he chose Seamus. Seamus, the flamboyant Irish boy with a big mouth. His best friend in the whole world, Seamus.

Seamus, and he'll happily shoot himself if anybody found out, cried over Dean before the War, before they started dating. Cried because he was afraid of rejection, both romantically and friendly. He was afraid that the love he had, and still does have, would never be returned, or even known.

But those fears all seem silly now. Those fears seem long gone and dream-like, and it's like Seamus has woken up from some nightmare and has fallen into a wonderful dream.

He walks towards his boyfriend, and says, with a brand-new confidence, "Let me drag you into that alley and shag you silly."

If Dean is surprised when he turns to Seamus, he doesn't show it. He just smirks and says, "Maybe later."

Seamus leans in and closes his eyes before he presses his lips against Dean's lightly, not caring if anybody or everybody is watching. The whole world around them doesn't matter anymore, because Seamus has been inspired.

He doesn't know why he was so afraid of his sexuality before, but after seeing Draco and Harry, how easy it was for them, it seems almost silly to be so afraid. Seamus pulls away from the kiss, intertwines his and his boyfriends fingers, and smiles.

"I love you, Dean."

"I love you, too, Seamus."


End file.
